If I had to pick a favourite minivan off the showroom floor, I don’t think I could. They’re all different, but they’re all bland. This Windstar started just as bland, but the clean finish is quite incredible.
It was a long-wheelbase three-quarter-ton, if the “25” emblem on the side was accurate, and I actually see worse ones on the road today. I think it was probably hauled in there due to nuisance. The power train was gone, so the chances are that it was bought for that, stripped of it, and then sold to the wrecker to clean up the yard. It had the tall fibreglass top on it, so I was able to stand up inside of it, and it was blue everywhere. The paint was possibly Medium Blue Tremclad, and it had the shag carpeting to match. The aftermarket speakers were even blue. Not only was it a cool van, but it was also camperized. There was a kitchenette just inside the door, and a bathroom in the back corner. Obviously it was a bit snug everywhere, but the layout was solid for one or two people. Motorhomes are okay, but they don’t have the history or the culture that a rad old van has. Music festivals? Vans. Low-budget musician tours? Vans. What did Matt Foley live in down by the river on Saturday Night Live? A van. Japan actually had a pretty big van scene, and maybe they still do. The body modifications were always extreme, and the exhaust was usually the same way, relying heavily on the “more is more” approach. A lot of the vans I saw come out of Japan were minivans. If you think a minivan can’t be cool, think again. The Japanese customs were a bit extreme, bordering on tasteless. Right here in North America, Tim Allen had one built for him that was incredibly tasteful, and yes, it had more power.
The 1996 Saleen Windstar has to be the greatest minivan ever produced. Over the years, I’ve had mixed feelings about how the Mustang wears the Saleen treatment, but I like this van probably even more than I like the Saleen F150, and that’s a nice pickup. Starting with a van that featured seating for seven and enough mediocrity for the whole family, Saleen had their work cut out for them. There are ground effects blended into a widebody kit flowing over five-spoke aluminum wheels and a custom hood. Under that custom hood is, of course, a supercharger. Inside, there are four swivel captain’s buckets with a fold-out table between them and the stock rear bench that hides a big stereo behind it. When I go through it, Saleen didn’t change that much stuff to make it into something great. Aside from the supercharger, the styling modifications could easily be offered right from the OEM factory. Why was it never? Unfortunately, because it’s a minivan, and they’re all margins and mediocrity for the manufacturers, as they sell themselves on functionality.
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