The new Ford Bronco is awesome. It’s big, rugged, powerful, and it’s going to give the Jeep Wrangler a run for its money. The new Chevy Blazer, a model that once competed directly with the Bronco, is now a civilian, mid-size SUV, more car than truck. The Mustang is still the best North American bang-for-your-buck muscle car in production today, but now it’s offered as a crew cab crossover with a fully electric power train. The Viper is making a comeback, but rather than leave it unique and exotic with V10 power, it’s being equipped with an all-too-common V8.
Obviously, it’s not just a pickup Hemi dumped under the hood, and the old V10 wasn’t that exotic considering they based it on the old 360, but a V10 just carries a certain stigma that a V8 does not. It still burns premium, though, so that’s some nice continuity. Don’t mention that in Quebec or British Columbia, though, as Quebec plans on banning the sale of fuel-powered vehicles beginning in 2035, BC half a decade later in 2040. For those of us with zero plans to ever A) buy a new vehicle or B) buy an electric vehicle, will there still be gas stations, how many, and at what cost? How about the old gas stations? What will become of them? If the sites are as contaminated and dangerous as they say, I’d certainly doubt anyone would want to put a high voltage lightning storm of an electric charging station in the same spot. Every time I read something about the future of the automobile, I can’t believe what wieners these legislators have become. Volkswagen beat them to the punch, though, as Volkswagen have been wieners since 1973.
Currywurst. Ever heard of it? Any hardcore Volkswagen fan probably has, as it’s Volkswagens best-selling part. It has its own part number, and they produce an average of eighteen-thousand sausages per day at their Wolfsburg plant for distribution to supermarkets and to their six plants in Germany to be served in their own restaurants. Not unlike a North American hot dog, what is a sausage without ketchup? Volkswagen has that covered with their own blend of curry ketchup to accompany the Currywurst. The current blend of spices hasn’t changed since 1976, and they even added a vegetarian version in 2010. Unfortunately for anyone reading this, you won’t be able to go to your local dealer and order up a package of genuine Volkswagen sausage, as it’s not available for import. If travel is ever legalized again, however, you will be able to pick it up at any number of places in Europe if you’re in the neighbourhood.
Have a question or comment for Kelly? Post it at lmtimes.ca/kirk
