It’s so absolutely crude and unrefined that it’s perfect. The colour, the texture, the lettering, the mismatched door, everything was on point to fit perfectly into that particular movie.
Gone in 60 Seconds came out the following year and was almost entirely unknown until the modern version debuted in 2000. Fast and the Furious hooked an entire generation into tuner cars and has become a gigantic franchise since then, with seemingly no end in sight. There’s one, though, that never gets the proper recognition that it deserves, and that movie is Cheech and Chong’s Up in Smoke. The first indication of a car movie is Chong in the Volkswagen Beetle with the rigged-up Rolls-Royce grille. Immediately after that, Cheech is seen polishing his beat-up “Love Machine” 1964 Impala lowrider, which I believe was indeed a factory SS. When the police were on stake-out, they were in a pretty cool 60-63 GM panel truck, trying to keep track of my favourite, the Sweet and Low Upholstery step van.
I don’t have a clue what year the P10 van in question is, as it’s not the van that’s so cool, but rather the sum of the parts. In the movie, it was said that the entire van was constructed of “fiberweed”, a marijuana-based plastic. Obviously, in real life, it was constructed of steel and body filler, and likely a few balled-up newspaper pages here and there to get the shape blended just right. On the front, the visor is so big and boxy that it would be better described as an awning. The paint is textured throughout, and the only shiny part is the chrome wheels. On the back, 1954 Cadillac quarters are grafted on in an incredibly crude and unfinished fashion, complete with a continental kit outback. The exhaust even exits through an opening in the bumper. You’d think that something like this would have been parted out and scrapped long ago, especially when you consider how many cars that are much more iconic are left outside to die in the Hollywood sun. I’m sure this one saw some serious mistreatment since 1978, but, as of today, it has been fully restored to big-screen quality. Who would want to take on an obscure project like this? The Green City Collective marijuana dispensary, of course. As Bobby Bolivia said in Transformers, “The driver don’t pick the car, the car pick the driver.”
Have a question or comment for Kelly? Post it at lmtimes.ca/kirk
