The future looked more futuristic back then than it actually turned out. This thing still has a look from a time that hasn't yet existed. Like a retro throwback tomorrow.
They snuck them in slowly, but now they’re here to stay. First, there were power windows and locks, the most common gadget nowadays, and one that’s really bad for my argument as they’re actually pretty great as long as they’re working. I’ve owned as many vehicles with faulty crank windows as I have with faulty power windows, so I can’t dispute their convenience or reliability. The seat belt light and dinger? Absolutely obnoxious when doing something as simple as idling across the yard. The airbag light that’s on in lots of older vehicles is also quite unfortunate. It’s too bad they made the little red light to outlast the weight sensor in the passenger seat. I’m not even that big a fan of the airbags themselves. Don’t get me wrong, they save lives, but they could also potentially take lives if you were one of the millions like myself who had a vehicle equipped with those that threw shrapnel everywhere if released. Anti-lock brakes and traction control? Forget about it, not my thing. Pedals can be pumped and feathered without all the extra components kicking back. For a very brief period, I owned one of those GM cars with the radio get louder based on speed to overcome road noise. It worked, but not consistently, and with no rhyme or reason to where it would stop at any given time. However, the worst one I can think of has to be those collision sensor things in the bumper. Long grass, rain, ice, dirt, etc., all make them go totally bonkers, on a Dodge at least. Had they put better mirrors on the thing, you could see what you were about to hit without the dash squealing. The worst part is, Dodge has kind of been working since 1969 on that technology, a true story.
Old concept cars are great because they never had to actually work. They were more of an artistic platform. More often than not, the car wasn’t even released in its entirety but rather harvested for bits and pieces for other future models. The 1969 Chrysler 70X isn’t exactly a household name, and it also doesn’t really resemble any production Chrysler from later on. It almost looks like a Cadillac from the front, and from the rear, it has a trunk lid like a Toronado and a bumper like a Chevelle. One visual feature that it owns, however, is the doors. The front door slides forward, and the rear door slides back, like on a minivan. I’d call it the ultimate hardtop, but I think there’s a post there for the doors to latch on to. Pictures and information are so sparse on this thing, and it’s hard to tell if it’s a pillar or seat belts, honestly. One feature it had that kind of made it into production was blind-spot detection. An ultrasonic device was mounted to the rear package tray, and it could detect a vehicle up to fifty feet back, left, or right of the vehicle, triggering a red warning light mounted in the mirror. I don’t know if it was expensive or unreliable, but regardless, it was an idea abandoned for decades before anything like it ever reappeared. Maybe it made noise, and potential customers just didn’t like it?
Have a question or comment for Kelly? Post it at lmtimes.ca/kirk