Good Grief!

Dennis Kresier, Layperson, Last Mountain Anglican Parish

November 6, 2024

Key Points from This Story:

• Grief is a universal, personal experience.
• Mourning expresses grief after a loss.
• Ceremonies help share and diminish grief.
• Understanding grief aids in coping.
• "Good grief" can be part of healing.
• Jesus offers solace during times of sorrow.

We live in a small town near a small city where we have two papers that we look forward to each day. In them we find advertising on things we require, info on events-past present and future. Also included are puzzles, humorous clips & a host of other great articles. Also included are obituary articles on friends & acquaintances, neighbours & strangers who have passed on. Some have died at 27, 42, 56, 73 & 95 years of age.

 When I read these obituaries, I think of the amount of grief suffered by all concerned and involved. Many of us stumble & are overcome by grief & have great difficulty in understanding & coping with it. I have spent a good deal of time & interest regarding this topic that affects us all sooner or later.

Grief is a normal but sometimes overwhelming emotion. It is a response to the loss of someone or something with which we have formed a relationship or bond. There are many dimensions to this emotion that have impacts on our physical body, our cognitive functions, social interactions & our spirituality. It is normal to find yourself feeling numb & removed from daily life, unable to carry on with regular duties while being saddled with the sense of loss. Grief is both a universal and a personal experience. Individual experiences of grief vary & are influenced by the nature of the loss. Experts advise those grieving to realize they can’t control the process & to prepare for varying stages of grief. Understanding why you’re suffering can help as can speaking to others & trying to resolve issues that cause significant emotional pain.

Mourning is the expression of grief, occurring as a result of someone’s death. It is a personal and a collective response which can vary depending on the contexts of the relationships we have. Ceremony is a unified ritualistic event with a purpose, usually consisting of a number of human expressions such as music, spoken word, poetry or other artistic components. The purpose of a funeral ceremony is for those who are experiencing grief, to come together in a meaningful way that allows for the expression of our grief. Every ceremony is as unique as the individual whose life we are celebrating. Some ceremonies may be very simple & only have a few components. The important thing is that grief shared is grief diminished, & ceremonies that allow for people to mourn together can greatly support our path to acceptance.

 Additionally, there is another component that needs to be mentioned regarding the matter of grief. Occasionally we hear the expression, “Good Grief!!” Is there really such a thing as good grief? I believe there can be, because grieving is a part of the healing, and this is a good thing. The Holy Scriptures tell us that Jesus, himself, was “a man of many sorrows & acquainted with grief.” Scripture is full of illustrations of His dealings with situations of grief. Jesus Himself, is the ultimate antidote or remedy for handling our grief. When we give our lives back to the one who gave His life for us, we are in a winning situation. When one of His Saints passes on, we who are left do miss them but the scriptures promise us that, “The weeping and sorrow may endure for a night, BUT the joy comes in the morning.” The death of His saints is precious to our Lord! He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep (i.e. our earthly life), to gain what he cannot lose (i.e. eternal life! 

“What a friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear. What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer. O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear, all because we do not carry, everything to God in prayer.” This benevolent Saviour is that friend who, “sticks closer than a mother.” “In His arms He’ll take and shield thee, thou shalt find a solace there!” Cast all your grief, worries, & cares upon Him. He’ll never let you down!