Well, the first was cursive writing. Apparently, the ability to sit down and put pen to paper offends Millenials. Seeing as you can more efficiently dispatch texts and emails on a keyboard. True that, but I remember just a few years ago working on a road crew where the boss brought out some income tax forms for everyone to fill out. And I had to sit and watch these guys struggle to place their personal information on those forms. To the point where it was so painful to watch, I simply volunteered and took the pen and filled in their information for them.
Certainly, being able to share vast quantities of information instantly is a marvellous thing. But try travelling to a third-world country where your choice of cell towers is sporadic or non-existent. The ability to write your own name may be a valuable commodity. Not only that, I cannot even count the number of people I have witnessed through accident or outright electronic failure lose their smartphones and everything contained within. I possess an old address book where I write down all the numbers, names, and addresses of my contacts. Yes, I do possess that ability! I dropped my phone in a puddle of water one day, ruined it, lost everything. Sim card was totally wiped. I pulled out the old address book and started programming contacts back in my new phone. It took about an hour.
Another thing was denim. It seems it bothers Millenials if you choose to adorn yourself with such an archaic material. Well, tell that to the next farmer you see wrestling with barbed wire fixing corrals on a cool October morning.
And last but not least, consumption of fossil fuels. Well, this is all great to urbanites who can save the planet by hopping on their e-scooters and motor silently to work. I ran into a friend just yesterday; his bull had jumped the fence and was pursuing his neighbour’s cows, and he was forced to round him up, place him in a trailer, and return him to his rightful place. I thought to myself, ‘try returning 2500 pounds of **recalcitrant bull to his pasture with a Tesla, and see how that works out for you!’
Not denying climate change here; it is real. The evidence supports it. But I have faith, we will clean it up, and the earth is a dynamic place constantly in a state of flux. We will all survive. And millennials suffer from a horrific lack of understanding of history. Next time you sit down and text someone or Facebook. Perhaps you should be informed that it was my generation that invented silicon computer chips. And the internet.
-Pete foster
Editors note: I don't know what Peter is talking about regarding denim. This seems totally out of left-field, even for Peter.
**Five-Dollar word alert