Most Important Thing in Life is Quality of Relationships

By Gwen Randall-Young

November 18, 2024

Key points from this story:

• Success shouldn't overshadow meaningful family moments
• Balance between responsibilities and quality time needed
• Conscious choices shape our relationships and happiness
• Reflect on personal goals for important relationships
• Societal pressures can interfere with "real life"
• Virtual experiences shouldn't replace genuine interactions

Are you having fun yet? You have your job under control, your children in school, a mortgage and you make regular retirement contributions. You keep your house clean, your yard neat, and the vehicles washed. The kids are in the requisite number of extracurricular activities, and you work out regularly. By all counts you have achieved success.

Just as important though, is the ability to make all of the above secondary to the "real moments" of life. Can you let the cleaning go sometimes because the children seem to need you with them, or because your husband or wife needs some tender loving care? Can you recognize when life is out of balance, and the family is never together anymore because of too many outside activities? Is it important enough to address, or is life dictated by the hockey or soccer schedule? Does your family spend more time together in the mall than together in nature? Do you brush family members aside because you have to watch that replay or the end of the soap opera?

We live in a world of stimulus overload, and so we have to be conscious of what we are responding to. Our actions are always the result of choices; the question is only whether those choices are conscious or unconscious. The most important thing in life is the quality of our relationships. Nothing else brings genuine, lasting happiness. Building a quality relationship takes time and attention, and some conscious thought about what it is you want to create.

It's interesting to ask yourself what your goal might be in each of your important relationships. It is also important to ask yourself what you really want in your life. If you really want time to play, to take it easy, and to relax with your family, then working sixty hours a week doesn't make sense. If you want quality time alone with your spouse, then filling your calendar with social activities won't allow for that.

In our culture we complain a lot about the pressures, and how little time there is for what we really want. But we may be in denial about the fact that we are making precisely those choices that cut into "real life" time. It's a high-tech world, but we are still human. It would be a sad thing if "virtual reality" replaced the real thing.